Steve Biddulph mengatakan, "Adalah sebuah prinsip fundamental dalam Psikologi, bahwa dalam 3 tahun pertama kehidupan, manusia mempelajari pelajaran terpenting seumur hidup, yaitu bagaimana mencintai. Hasil riset menunjukkan bahwa struktur baru akan berkembang dalam otak bayi apabila mendapatkan kasih sayang dan perhatian dalam 2 tahun pertama. Apabila kasih sayang yang intens tersebut tidak diterima bayi pada masa ini, struktur ini akan terganggu perkembangannya dan sebagai akibatnya, ada kecakapan tertentu yang mungkin tak akan pernah diperoleh anak tersebut."
Bukunya, "Raising Babies : Why Your Love is Best," diperlengkapi dengan hasil-hasil penelitian yang menunjukkan bahwa ada dampak negatif yang nyata ketika pengasuhan anak dilimpahkan kepada orang lain yang tak mempunyai kasih sebesar kasih yang dimiliki orangtuanya sendiri.
Steve Biddulph meyakinkan kita, bahwa seringkali kita harus melawan arus, 'menjadi aneh' karena keluar dari kebiasaan masyarakat, tidak melakukan apa yang dilakukan kebanyakan orang. Lebih penting bagi kita untuk mendengarkan apa kata hati kita, karena itulah yang benar.
Steve Biddulph meyakinkan kita, bahwa seringkali kita harus melawan arus, 'menjadi aneh' karena keluar dari kebiasaan masyarakat, tidak melakukan apa yang dilakukan kebanyakan orang. Lebih penting bagi kita untuk mendengarkan apa kata hati kita, karena itulah yang benar.
Berikut adalah cuplikan buku "Raising Babies" karangan Steve Biddulph terbitan Thorson, 2006 :
The world has also changed in the last 30 years. As huge corporations spanned the earth and grew more powerful than governments, their influence over daily life grew too. People everywhere felt they had to work harder, even though they were more prosperous than ever before. There was enormous pressure to consume more material goods. Everything was getting faster, more stressed and money-oriented - the old values of caring and community interdependence were being swept away. People had less and less time for their marriages, their communities, their friends, and even their own children. Society has become more materialistic and has fatally neglected the place of caring, community, and family needs in our lives. We weren't exactly slaves, we had a choice. But to use Madeleine Bunting's phrase, we were 'willing slaves' - somehow going along with this deteriorating quality of life without question.
It is a fundamental tenet of psychology that in the first three years of life we learn the most important lesson of our whole lifetime - how to love. By giving away this precious window of intimate time, I feared we were raising a colder, sadder, more stressed and aggressive generation of children who might forever struggle to know what closeness and inner peace really felt like.
Children under three want one thing only : the individual care of their own special person. Loving, patient, and supported time with young babies is not a luxury, but a vital nutrient that we must provide. Researchers have learned that a baby's brain grows whole new structures in response to the love and affection, and caring firmness, given during its first two years of life. If this kind of intense love is not given at the right time, these areas of the brain do not grow properly and, as a result, there are abilities a child may never acquire.
The world has also changed in the last 30 years. As huge corporations spanned the earth and grew more powerful than governments, their influence over daily life grew too. People everywhere felt they had to work harder, even though they were more prosperous than ever before. There was enormous pressure to consume more material goods. Everything was getting faster, more stressed and money-oriented - the old values of caring and community interdependence were being swept away. People had less and less time for their marriages, their communities, their friends, and even their own children. Society has become more materialistic and has fatally neglected the place of caring, community, and family needs in our lives. We weren't exactly slaves, we had a choice. But to use Madeleine Bunting's phrase, we were 'willing slaves' - somehow going along with this deteriorating quality of life without question.
It is a fundamental tenet of psychology that in the first three years of life we learn the most important lesson of our whole lifetime - how to love. By giving away this precious window of intimate time, I feared we were raising a colder, sadder, more stressed and aggressive generation of children who might forever struggle to know what closeness and inner peace really felt like.
Children under three want one thing only : the individual care of their own special person. Loving, patient, and supported time with young babies is not a luxury, but a vital nutrient that we must provide. Researchers have learned that a baby's brain grows whole new structures in response to the love and affection, and caring firmness, given during its first two years of life. If this kind of intense love is not given at the right time, these areas of the brain do not grow properly and, as a result, there are abilities a child may never acquire.
